thankful.

I have been wanting to blog for weeks now, but due to unforeseen personal reasons, it has been really hard for me to gather my thoughts and write. I guess it hasn't been easy for me lately in the past few months and still am trying to get my head above water. What am I saying?

Anyway, despite the craziness that has been happening in my life lately, I am still thankful for everything. Despite the frustrations and discouragements, God is telling me 'Not yet.'. God is telling me to be patient and in everything give thanks.

My life isn't exactly going smoothly. It feels like every morning I wake up I wonder what's gonna happen next. I feel like crying, but God has been faithful and still picks me up every time I feel like giving up. What's next? Only God knows what's best for me.

Stay tuned.

Don't Give Up!

Don't despair today when you can't see it. 

Obey God and trust that He is working.

 His timing is so rarely ours, but it is always perfect. 

Instead of chaffing under the seemingly mundane,

 embrace each task as a building block for the dreams in your heart.

 Don't give up hope.

- Amy Caroll - Prov.31 Devotions

As I was doing my devotions the past few days, I have realized that God is constantly telling me to not lose hope. Like I was ranting the other week, I felt like I was singled-out, or pretty much abandoned and it felt like everything is just falling apart again. I feel ashamed of my petty rants and what-nots. I feel like my constant battle with old self is so tiring that sometimes I just want to give up, but no. God finds a way to wake me up and remind me that there is more to come. 


Every time I did my devotions for the past few days, God has sent me a universal message : Don't give up hope. Keep trying. Keep pushing.


And last night, as I was about to sleep, I had a good smile on my face knowing that God is so amazing. The moment I want to give up, that's when He comes in and sends His message through a family member, a friend, a bible passage, or even through devotions. It's just amazing how timely He sends his message to me. I cannot imagine how I would be like if it weren't for His word. I have this smile on my face every time I read a passage and be like, "God, thank you for talking to me". With that, I feel His presence even more. And with that, I cannot explain how extremely grateful I am.

Thank You Heavenly Father for constantly reminding me to not give up. Thank you for telling me to lose hope. Thank You for using every media there is to remind me of your grace. Thank you.

STAY TUNED.

Hang in there.

I don't know how to start this, but it needs to get out of my chest. For months I have been battling a war with my old self and my new self. For months I have been slowly recovering and getting back to my norm. However, these past few weeks have been really hard for me. There are points where I wanted to just give up on my progress. Give up and what? Start all over again? My thoughts exactly.

I would do so good for a week then I find myself in the dumps the next. I have had points where I am just so tired on waiting on God's purpose that I want out. Sounds familiar? Yes, that's the old me. I am still in a battle with my old self (obviously) and it's really HARD. Hard in the sense where I find myself frustrated and I would cry because of how I feel like I'm such a failure. Yes, the lil ole devil whispering lies about me...again.

I found myself resorting to old habits and giving in, but my God is greater than any of those lies. I've been learning how His grace and mercy has gotten me out of that rotten place. A tough spot I must say, but I'm trying really hard. I've always wanted the easy way out. I look for the fastest, easiest way to get things done because I just don't want to wait. I admit, I am still struggling with that, but I'm glad there are people who keep reminding me to never give up, to never take the easy way out. People telling me to "Hang in there!" makes the journey bearable.

I know life isn't easy and that we got to keep pushing until we see the prize. Push push push, I tell myself. But why do we need to keep pushing? Well, there is an incentive why we need to keep pushing. There's a seed, the stages of preparation, and the transition to a birth -- a new thing that's coming. And if you have to go the LONG, HARD, and PAINFUL way to learn it (which I had to go through!), then so be it.



No matter how long it takes, just know this: God's working with you the way it has to be done, for reasons that only He understands. But God has a good plan in mind. And the last thing you want to do is give up in the middle and miss out on God's reward. So please, keep on trusting Him. PUSH! -- Joyce Meyer

What did Jesus Say?

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden

 and overburdened, and I will give you rest 

Matthew 11:28

STAY TUNED.

Contentment

Week 2 of Melissa Taylor's online-bible study of An Untroubled Heart


Chapter 4 : The Pressure's On
(an excerpt from Micca Campbell's An Untroubled Heart)


Finding Balance in Contentment
...Balance comes when I lay my to-do list before God and allow Him to prioritize my life. My life does not belong to me as a Christian. I shouldn't be the one ordering my days. When I do, my life becomes unstable. When this happens I've learned to do a quick review of my life by using this acrostic on priorities given to me by a friend:
P - Pray. Ask God for wisdom. Ask Him to show you his priorities for this season of your life.
R - Review God's priorities for your life. Study God's word to determine His priorities for you as His child and as a woman.
I - Take Inventory. Examine the activities that consume your time. (what are my true priorities? Are they the right ones?)
O - Order your schedule. Ask, "what is important?" Make the hard choices based on God's priorities for your life.
R - Resist the "tyranny of the urgent". Don't let the urgent keep you from focusing on the truly important.
I - Input from others. Seek input, counsel, and accountability from authorities, your husband, godly friends, and mentors.
T - Take advantage of the time God gives you. Don't waste time. Do all to the glory of God.
I - Identify time robbers. What saps your energy and robs your time? Activities, attitudes, distractions, interruptions?
E - Experience this season fully. Be all there in this season of life. Weep, rejoice, work hard, and celebrate with all your hear. Don't waste time living in the past or future.
S - Sabbaths. Take regular time-outs to refresh, regain perspective, reflect and evaluate, and reprioritize. Make adjustments accordingly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I read through this chapter again, I regain perspective on what God wants me to be. God wants me to accomplish things according to His will. God wants me to accomplish it and not lose my eye on Him. God wants me to take advantage of the time He has given me. God doesn't want me to procrastinate and waste my time being..."useless". God wants me to PRIORITIZE.

It hits me every time. I know I've been always organized with my life and all, but ever since things happened with my life in the past 2 years, I've been...well...disorganized. Life is cruel at times, but we can always count on God. God is awesome. :)

Lord God,
Thank you for opening my heart and mind again to your word. Thank you for giving me resources to constantly remind me from time to time that YOU will never leave my side. Thank you for reminding me to prioritize and be content with life. Teach me to balance life. Teach me to lay my to-do list before You. Thank you for another promise that you have unfolded. Amen.

STAY TUNED.

Let Go and Let God.

So 2 weeks ago, I have joined Melissa Taylor's online bible study for Micca Campbell's book An Untroubled Heart and I must say I am very happy. I have been reading An Untroubled Heart and I've been longing to do a study with some close friends, but unfortunately, everyone's "too busy". But I am not here to rant again about that. I am here to share my thoughts and what-not's as I go through this study.

Tulips blooming in the spring symbolizes HOPE
and by that I find it very beautiful.

Chapter 3: Fashioned for Faith -- Not Fear
(an excerpt from An Untroubled Heart by Micca Campbell)
Live Like You Believe.
Hope provides me with this confidence: that God will forgive all my sins. He will renew me. He will give me peace in times of turmoil. He will heal my sickness and comfort my sorrows. He will fight for me. He will guide me. He will protect me. He will strengthen me and He will care for me until all my fears are swallowed up by an undying faith in a God who is more than able to supply all my needs. Faith believes that God is real, and Hope is the confidence that He'll do what He said He will do. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have highlighted that part of the chapter, three months ago, and as I was reading that again, it struck me....AGAIN. Every time I get discouraged I tell myself that it will be ok in the end, but that bit of HOPE gets me going til the end. Life is hard...as cliche as it may sound...it really is. As I am slowly going back to where I was with my walk with Christ, I face countless struggles more often. It's almost like the devil is bombarding me with every single attack that he can do to me to stray me away from God. I admit, there are days when I'm just so...blah (emotionless I must say). There are days when I feel angry the moment I wake up and I would feel nothing but hate. The devil works in crazy ways, but I know that my God is greater and that he works in mysterious ways. Since I started working my way back to God, I feel the enemy's presence constantly pulling me away, but in that same moment, I can feel God's stronger presence pulling me towards Him. Amazing isn't He? And as much as I give in to fear at times, I am learning to give in fully to FAITH.

Point is: LET GO and LET GOD.

STAY TUNED.

comfort.

Sunshine amazes me every single day. I long for that rising sun to come and greet me a lovely morning. When times are discouraging, I long for the warmth of the sun to comfort me and tell me that every day is a new day and that yesterday is a thing of the past.

Magic Kingdom, Disney World, Orlando FL 2010
it calms me down every time i see this picture

I've been waking up later that usual these past few days and I honestly have been feeling under the weather (both physically...and emotionally), but I guess I should go back to my daily routine (and that includes waking up early!). I have been missing sunrises and it saddens me. Gah. I need to change this crazy routine. 

And by that, I will leave you an excerpt of my morning devotion:

"It's time to get out of bed and face the new day and the changes coming. It's time to remember that even in loneliness, I am never alone. It's time to relish the beautiful rose and those thorn bushes." - LeAnn Rice

My heart and my flesh may fail,

 but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26 

Faith

(SMILE: Just like my little chihuahua Pablo
 does every morning as he is given another day to live!)

Wow. These past few days have been a crazy rollercoaster ride. Emotionally, physically, psychologically...you name it. But despite of all the crazy events that has happened in the past few days, I am still blessed and thankful. Despite the accidents and what-nots, I still thank God for sending his angels to comfort,heal, and guide us. Thank You for lifting my head 'coz you are indeed my strength and shield. I cannot express how amazing God is and how his ever present help is manifested in my life. Without faith and hope, I wouldn't be here. Despite the crazy events that has happened to my life, I still wake up and thank God for another day He has given me. And despite the crazy turn of events, I still manage to look up, pray, and smile to the One who gives me strength.


Stay Tuned.

Starting Fresh!

We need more than a new start --

 we need a new HEART!

Ezekiel 36:26

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; 

I will remove from you a heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's a constant battle for me when it comes to starting fresh. It's so hard but it has to be done. Thank You for the scriptures that constantly remind me of your promises and unfailing love. I just have to consistently trust in God and that by His grace, I am still keeping at it. This is no time to give up or get stuck. It's time to ask for a change in heart and ask for His wisdom and strength to keep going. There's so much in store for me...I am excited.

stay tuned.

Note to Self # 6:

EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY.

sunshine.

I woke up today feeling so lost. I thought it was Saturday today and that everyone at home left me. Hah. Funny story though, it's only Thursday and either way, everyone's gone by the time I wake up regardless what day it is. I woke up relatively early. Surprisingly, Mr.Sun decided to shine today (which is always a good thing in the winter!) It's only 1pm and I do hope these happy rays will continue throughout the day. *happy face*

Before I go and finish some errands for the day, I leave you with God's promises. Today is full of promises and I will gladly receive them with an open heart. As I was doing my quiet time today, I stumbled on an entry that made me realize how awesome (or should I say...o-some?) God is. An excerpt from my devotion reads:


"When trouble knocks us down, we can look up...God is there. He understands and cares. 
It's not easy, but we can TRUST Him to help us get back on our feet again." - Dave Branon

For months (or maybe you could say...years), I've been struggling to consistently TRUST God. I've been struggling to trust people...or even myself. Trust is hard to build, and easy to lose...but one thing is for sure: God will never leave us when everything fails us. Awesome? Oh it sure is. Have an awesome Thursday!

Note To Self #4:

Today, I will forgive and ask for forgiveness.
Forgive those who have wronged me, and ask God for forgiveness to every wrong I have done.


Psalm 103:11-12
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear Him;
As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.


STAY TUNED.

Hello 2012!

You told me, Look for You and I will find,

So I'm here like I'm searching for the first time

Revive me, Jesus

Make this cold heart start to move, 

Help me rediscover You

-STARFIELD; REDISCOVER YOU

Happy New Year indeed! Two weeks into the year and man, was it quite eventful! I've been fighting an uphill battle between my self and my longing for God. Two weeks have been brutal but it had it's happy moments. It's been quite eventful I tell ya! 

5th Birthday Cake: compliments to Ida

I celebrated my 23rd birthday two weeks ago and I cannot believe how time flies. I can honestly tell you right now that I do not feel any different, except I feel just a tad bit of pressure of growing up. ( I admit, I am in denial that I am already 23...it doesn't show physically anyway) Ah, but kidding aside, I've felt my little cousins, younger family friends , and those lil kiddos, have quite been looking up to me ever since. It's kind of a nice feeling having people look up to you (again just a tad bit of pressure there). I had an awesome "birth week", with five birthday cakes...come on...who wouldn't?  I thank everyone who sent their birthday greetings and what-nots, but most importantly, I thank God for another year added to my life! I know it's been a rough road lately, but I cannot stop thanking the One who wakes me and gives me breath every single day. Aiyah, fighting!

Hmm what else? I'm also back to school. Yes, after 8 long brain-idling months, I am back to the academic world! I can't explain how giddy I am when I registered, paid and started reading my book. (Book???) Yes, unfortunately though, I am only in one class this semester, but do not fret, I am back full time in the Spring! Just thinking about it makes me really excited for what's to come. (God indeed works in such crazy, and awesome ways)

Besides my birthday and schooling and what-nots, God has been crazy present in my life in these past two weeks. I cannot help but think, "WOW! I'm such a lucky person to know that God is so near and have been working in my life!". In a nutshell, I have laughed, cried, questioned, knelt, prayed, got frustrated, sang, etc, in a span of two weeks. I've never felt so emotional, empowered and hopeful. A week ago, I found myself praying and asking God's presence. Shaking, crying (bawling to be exact), and with all heart all emptied just for Him, I've never felt Him so near and comforting. It's such an awesome feeling. I felt all my worries and all my excess baggage were lifted. 

HOPE. That's pretty much a strong and comforting word that keeps me going every single day. Hope has given me a different outlook in life. Hope has given me this attitude that I never thought I had. Hope has given me the strength, patience, and wisdom I need right now in my life. The song, Rediscover You by Starfield (see excerpt above), is pretty much my song for this year. I hope to keep it close to me and would constantly remind me to SEEK God's will in my life no matter what my circumstances are. 

I am blessed. I am definitely living an o-some-sauce life. 

STAY TUNED.

Saying Goodbye to 2011

It's New Year's Eve and the feeling is bittersweet (I guess more on the sweet side though hehe).

2011 is basically 2009 all over again for me. Not that I'm proud of what happened to me that year, but it was a year full of learning experiences. (I put emphasis on the experienceS). 2011 is not all bad. It was full of tears (and bucket loads of 'em), but good tears outnumber the bad. A lot of growing is in the works and I am hopeful that 2012 will bear fruit quite nicely. Of course I can't expect that 2012 would be my year (seriously, who does that? hehe ), but I am hopeful that 2012 will be better than 2011. 

Every minute I had in 2011 was tailored by God. Every bad situation, every unexpected circumstances, every joyous moments I had was meant for me to experience. Every people who came to and left in, every failed attempts and successes, God has written it all out in his perfect plan for my life. In every little thing I have shed a tear, I am thankful that God has blessed me with an eventful year. I am happy knowing that God has my back and is very apparent in telling me that He is there in every situation, good or bad. AND I believe that 2012 is going to be custom-made for me by God...as well. :) I am hopeful.

I need not  elaborate on the "bitter" part of the year, but I guess the rightful thing to say is, I'm glad I've had those moments. I am human after all. Don't you agree?

My prayer for 2012:
Dear God, 
I want to take this moment not to ask for anything from you, but to simply say how awesome you are and I am forever grateful. 2011 was good, but I know that 2012 will be awesome. I am excited to see what you have in store for me in the coming year. I thank you for being there 24/7. Thank You.

So here's my farewell to you 2011....

...I will be on the right track because 2012 will be better.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

STAY TUNED.

Sunny

Coz this song makes my heart cry.

Coz this song makes me happy.

Coz this song puts a smile on my tear-filled face.

Coz this song gives me hope.

Enjoy.

:)

Sunny, thank you for the truth you've let me see.

Sunny, thank you for the facts from A to Z

My life was torn like a windblown sand,

then a rock was formed when we held hands.

Sunny one so true, I love you.

<3 lots,

P.