Rant.

I know I'm not the perfect friend to my friends, but I reach out (or I think so anyways) to them when they need me. But when I need them, I feel like they're always "too busy" for me. Now I face this weird, awkward phase in our friendship where I am barely invited to any events. Like, when I see them, they would talk about the happenings on the so-called events and I feel singled out. I may be a bit bitter, but in the end I try not to let it get to me. I ask myself what have I done wrong and I can't point out a single (possible) reason.

 Maybe some bitterness bothers me, but it's the "what, how and why's" that I'm bothered. I am just ranting, but it hurts. I try to just let this pass and move on. I feel that every phase in my life I encounter such heart-breaking moments when it comes to my friends. I have had friends who back-stabbed, lied, and hated me. I have had friends who I lost because of our difference in views. And as I write this, I ask myself why God has allowed such things to happen to me? Maybe it's his way of telling me to grow up and face such relationships with grace and mercy. I love my friends. I really do, and if anything, I really don't want to go through life alone. I have started with TONS of friends, but indeed it's true...only a few will remain.