Captivating: Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine: Arousing Adam

Come away, my lover,

and be like a gazelle

or like a young stag

on the spice-laden mountains

-Song of Songs 8:14

Arousing Women:
The beautiful story in Enchanted April is how each of the women actually becomes a woman indeed. Caroline softens, becomes tender and vulnerable. She no longer resents her beauty, but offers it gently, almost shyly, which for her is repentance. Lottie and Rose gain a sense of self. They become substantive, able to offer their men a real mate, not a doormat. They, too, become alluring; being less shy is repentance for them-- no longer hiding but coming forward in a gentle way. The effect on the men in their lives is astounding. What severity and domineering and hiding and whining could not do, beauty does. Their men come forth as good men, repentant men. Heroes.

An arousing woman is one who calls forth the best in a man by who she is as a woman-- someone who offers her beauty, her true heart, as we described in the last chapter. Such a stark contrast is set out in the movie A Walk in the Clouds. There are two women in Paul Sutton's life (played by Keanu Reeves). His wife is not an arousing woman. She pressures him, "You are not the man I want you to be." She is manipulating and demanding. Eventually she has an affair. The Hispanic woman he meets on the bus, however, is alluring. A strong and self-confident woman, she is also soft and inviting. Her message to him is, "You are an amazing man."
However it is expressed in the uniqueness of your own feminity, arousing Adam comes down to this:

Need him. And believe in him.

That is what a man needs to hear from his woman more than anything else. I need you. I need your strength. I believe in you. You have what it takes.

--Captivating; John&Stasi Eldredge