Huh?

There are days when I want to just be alone and think and think some more. I kind of like this whole "figuring myself" thing that I have put myself into. I have never been so confused my entire life! I thought I have figured my life. I thought I have figured what I want to do, who I want to be, where I want to go and who I want to be with. But no. I have never been so confused and frustrated (in a good way).

Right after my work-term I asked myself if I really want to continue what I got myself into. I figured I loved it, but asked myself at the same time if I loved it wholeheartedly. I couldn't answer myself. I went to the first week of classes for my spring/summer term and I have never felt so unmotivated my entire life! Knowing me, I usually LOVE being in school and learning new things, but it felt so different. Like I did not know what was wrong with me or was it just the classes, but no. School? No? Work? I don't know.

Even my relationship with Ida is in jeopardy because of my instability. That aspect of my life is greatly affected. There are good days and there are bad days. Yes? No? Maybe so?

I have never been so confused my entire life and I hope that I will have a clearer mind in the next couple weeks after I get back from vacation.

<3 lots,
P.