November

Daylight savings really has gotten into me...and not in a good way. When your body is so used to waking up early, it just wouldn't let you sleep in. But,it could be worse. No complaints here!

Anyway, things have been crazy stressfull as I have been juggling getting sick and work and such. Last night I ended being a little antsy about work and just in general. I woke up to a devotional which I would say,was very timely. It goes like this : 

When life doesn't fit, don't worry,be critical, or try to fix it. Instead, take your problem to Jesus and leave it there. - Max Lucado

I admit I am not the most relax person. I went to bed a bit anxious about work. Mind you, work shouldn't be even on my mind,but it was. This devotional was a good reminder of how our prayer life should be. May it be the little things, or the big things, we should learn to leave it to Jesus. I know lately my faith has been tested especially when it comes to trusting God. I may not be fully able to keep calm when things go haywire, but God always finds a way to nudge me. Today was a good reminder to myself that I am only human. A day started with prayer and petition has turned out better than I expected it to be. 

And tonight, as I find myself lounging in my bed, I pray for these anxieties and negative thoughts to leave me. I may not know what tomorrow will bring me, but I know God already is there paving the way. 

So like Max Lucado said...take your problems to Jesus and leave it there.

-P

Test.

"No one ever has a testimony without a test."

-Joyce Meyer; Trusting God Day by Day

Here we are, half of the year gone and it seems like the days just fly by.
Funny how sometimes I cannot keep track of the days anymore. There are days when all I want to do is sit in the couch, watch my shows and be lazy. Today was unfortunately not one of those days (or this week!)
Ever since I started working I felt like my life has been on a constant rush. I missed blogging.  I missed reading. I missed sketching. I missed being creative.

The past weeks, I felt like I have been on some sort of test. A test in life where every aspect is being...shall I say... tested to mold my character. I get frustrated, depressed, mad...but God has a funny way of picking me up or nudging me saying, "Stand up. You can do it.". There are days when I come home and think how I manage to survive the day without hurting someone. I come home and say, "thank YOU." 

I hope to be a better person...better than who I was a year ago (or even a week ago). I hope to have a better flow in writing next time... And with that being said, I quote Joyce Meyer, "No one ever has a testimony without a test.". I know I am on a constant test to be the person God wants me to be.

-P

back to bloggin'!

Yes, I have neglected this ol' blog o' mine. Almost a year since I've actually been writing. There's so much shindigs and craziness in the past 11 months that I feel like I should get back on to my writing. :) My life has never been this interesting. Things will never be the same from here on.

Stay tuned.

:)

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name.

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship your holy name.

-10,000 Reasons ; Matt Redman

Can you believe it, it's already November! Another month to go then that's another year behind us. As every month end, I look back and can't stop thanking God for his provisions for the past year. I will keep on comparing about how completely different my life was a year ago to the present. It may seem to be overly done, but there are no limits on how many times I give thanks. Reasons are not limited and so does God's provisions.

As November starts, I pray that everyone keep safe and health as old man winter starts to make its way. I pray that everyone give time to thank God whenever, wherever. I pray that we all end this year with God's glory in mind. :)

Post-Thanksgiving...post?

I'm thankful beyond words. I'm thankful beyond this blog post and I'm extremely grateful for this life I am in.

A year ago, I'd say, I was in a complete different state compared to where I am right now. It was a difficult road to be in, but I've been there and I have no intention to go back. The past few months have been life changing. And by life changing, I mean... my life has changed...literally (probably close enough to turning 360 deg....k maybe about a 230 deg...and increasing hehe). Anyway, thanksgiving shouldn't be just celebrated in one day, but thanksgiving should be everyday.

Every morning, I thank God for waking me up and giving me another day to challenge myself. Every night, as I get ready to sleep, I thank God for guiding me through the challenging day that I've had. For the past months, this has been my routine, thanking God for this amazing life.

As I sit here and contemplate, I can't stop but thank God again for giving me amazing parents, a wonderful family, crazy friends, a very patient, and humble bestboyfriendever; an overwhelming/challenging/fun job, and an abundance of blessings all around me.

I may not have everything, but I'm extremely grateful with what I have right now. I can honestly say that I have more than enough that I could ever imagine! Things may not be 100% great, but with God's provision, my life feels more than 100%.

...and as I try to end this entry, keep in mind to Thank God for EVERYTHING...EVERYDAY. 

Thanksgiving.
...it's not just about turkeys, pumpkin pies, and stuffing.
(although I admit I love to eat!)

STAY TUNED.

ride with me.

Not a lot of people know my life story, but to those who do, they would probably say that my life has been very eventful (so far). I guess in a sense my life has been unique because I've never been short of disappointments, frustrations, trials, and successes. If there's a scenario to explain my life, it'd probably be a sight of a roller coaster. As mentioned from my prior posts, this life of mine will always be a roller coaster ride. No matter how old I am, no matter where I am, and no matter what I am, this life of mine will always be a roller coaster. Am I complaining? I certainly am not. Am I enjoying? Yes, well...there are times when I hit the lowest, but some crazy momentum pushes me back up and start the ride again. Crazy as it may seem, life is quite...interesting.


stay tuned.

Happy Wednesday.

Hi All!

Wow. I may be a little lacking on my blogging lately, but I'm so thankful that God has never lacked on blessing me and family. My last post was a little more than a month ago, and in that time period, a LOT has happened (and has been happening). Anyway, as much as I want to say that my life is nothing but bland, I am not going to agree with that statement because my life has been more than interesting. I hate roller coasters, but this roller coaster ride that I call LIFE is quite....challenging. There are days (or weeks even) that I'd be in the low point, and with a blink of an eye, I come back up in the highs. Am I speaking too vaguely? Yes I am. Despite of me speaking so vaguely, one thing's  for certain though, God planned out my life perfectly, specifically and en point.

:)

Stay Tuned.

Grateful.

There are moments that I treasure dearly, and there would be some that I wish they never happened. Today felt like I was in a battlefield of emotions. Today felt like I was just about done, but things picked up and I'm forever grateful.

I do believe in answered prayers. I do believe that God uses people sometimes to fulfill his promises to us. I do believe that in ANY circumstance, we give thanks. How grateful am I right now? Words cannot express.

Tonight, as I leave this blog again (just for 10 days..I promise I'll update!), I pray that God clears the cloud in our minds and hearts and open them for Him to work on. I am excited for our family trip tomorrow, but I'm more excited to what God has in store for me in the future.
Lord God,
Whenever you say "no", teach me to accept it without any anger in my heart.
Whenever you say "not yet.", teach me to wait patiently.
Whenever you say "yes", teach me to be humble and forever grateful.
Thank you.


Stay Tuned.

thankful.

I have been wanting to blog for weeks now, but due to unforeseen personal reasons, it has been really hard for me to gather my thoughts and write. I guess it hasn't been easy for me lately in the past few months and still am trying to get my head above water. What am I saying?

Anyway, despite the craziness that has been happening in my life lately, I am still thankful for everything. Despite the frustrations and discouragements, God is telling me 'Not yet.'. God is telling me to be patient and in everything give thanks.

My life isn't exactly going smoothly. It feels like every morning I wake up I wonder what's gonna happen next. I feel like crying, but God has been faithful and still picks me up every time I feel like giving up. What's next? Only God knows what's best for me.

Stay tuned.

Respect you say?

Hello again. I cannot believe how time flies when it's vacation. I have pretty much a week left before I start my Spring/Summer term. Excited? I like to think I am. Anxious? A bit. I'll make the most out of it!

Lately I've been feeling really...distant. As much as I really want to be out and about with friends, family still becomes my priority. I feel like some people just really take me for granted. The times when I needed them, that's when I barely hear anything from them. The times when they need me, that's when they constantly ask for my help. I personally do not mind helping others as long as I am able. I personally don't want any credit from whatever I have done to help them, but there is only one thing I ask of them : RESPECT.

I guess there are times when I'm really sad  that people just come to me when they need me. I am being taken advantage, although I want to think I don't mind, I am hurt in the process. Is it hard for people to realize how something like that could hurt someone even if you think they won't mind? I just want people to show respect and respect will be given.

I am ranting, yes. I am mad, not really. I am hurt, well certainly. Should I let it go? I will. There is no use for me to be frustrated over something that people should generally know by heart.

Rant over...and this gloomy day + hormones ain't helping.

Good day.

BRB?

WILL UPDATE SOON!!!
Sorry, I've been quite busy with Final Exams and I promise after tonight's exam, I will update my blog.
Wow, I have missed this feeling of being a student.
:)

STAY TUNED.

Don't Give Up!

Don't despair today when you can't see it. 

Obey God and trust that He is working.

 His timing is so rarely ours, but it is always perfect. 

Instead of chaffing under the seemingly mundane,

 embrace each task as a building block for the dreams in your heart.

 Don't give up hope.

- Amy Caroll - Prov.31 Devotions

As I was doing my devotions the past few days, I have realized that God is constantly telling me to not lose hope. Like I was ranting the other week, I felt like I was singled-out, or pretty much abandoned and it felt like everything is just falling apart again. I feel ashamed of my petty rants and what-nots. I feel like my constant battle with old self is so tiring that sometimes I just want to give up, but no. God finds a way to wake me up and remind me that there is more to come. 


Every time I did my devotions for the past few days, God has sent me a universal message : Don't give up hope. Keep trying. Keep pushing.


And last night, as I was about to sleep, I had a good smile on my face knowing that God is so amazing. The moment I want to give up, that's when He comes in and sends His message through a family member, a friend, a bible passage, or even through devotions. It's just amazing how timely He sends his message to me. I cannot imagine how I would be like if it weren't for His word. I have this smile on my face every time I read a passage and be like, "God, thank you for talking to me". With that, I feel His presence even more. And with that, I cannot explain how extremely grateful I am.

Thank You Heavenly Father for constantly reminding me to not give up. Thank you for telling me to lose hope. Thank You for using every media there is to remind me of your grace. Thank you.

STAY TUNED.

Hang in there.

I don't know how to start this, but it needs to get out of my chest. For months I have been battling a war with my old self and my new self. For months I have been slowly recovering and getting back to my norm. However, these past few weeks have been really hard for me. There are points where I wanted to just give up on my progress. Give up and what? Start all over again? My thoughts exactly.

I would do so good for a week then I find myself in the dumps the next. I have had points where I am just so tired on waiting on God's purpose that I want out. Sounds familiar? Yes, that's the old me. I am still in a battle with my old self (obviously) and it's really HARD. Hard in the sense where I find myself frustrated and I would cry because of how I feel like I'm such a failure. Yes, the lil ole devil whispering lies about me...again.

I found myself resorting to old habits and giving in, but my God is greater than any of those lies. I've been learning how His grace and mercy has gotten me out of that rotten place. A tough spot I must say, but I'm trying really hard. I've always wanted the easy way out. I look for the fastest, easiest way to get things done because I just don't want to wait. I admit, I am still struggling with that, but I'm glad there are people who keep reminding me to never give up, to never take the easy way out. People telling me to "Hang in there!" makes the journey bearable.

I know life isn't easy and that we got to keep pushing until we see the prize. Push push push, I tell myself. But why do we need to keep pushing? Well, there is an incentive why we need to keep pushing. There's a seed, the stages of preparation, and the transition to a birth -- a new thing that's coming. And if you have to go the LONG, HARD, and PAINFUL way to learn it (which I had to go through!), then so be it.



No matter how long it takes, just know this: God's working with you the way it has to be done, for reasons that only He understands. But God has a good plan in mind. And the last thing you want to do is give up in the middle and miss out on God's reward. So please, keep on trusting Him. PUSH! -- Joyce Meyer

What did Jesus Say?

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden

 and overburdened, and I will give you rest 

Matthew 11:28

STAY TUNED.

A Very Good Friday indeed.

Happy Good Friday Everyone!

I've been extremely tired this whole week...like, I've never felt so exhausted to the point where I feel like passing out. No kidding. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I've been physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. I feel like my body shuts down on its own. Should I be worried? Maybe it's just the allergies? Let's hope it's just allergies.

So today, I woke up earlier than usual to attend a Good Friday Service at church. Last night, I've been having doubts and second thoughts about going to church early in the morning...on a Friday. Well, it was the devil's way of telling me to not go to church. (sneaky lil brat hey?). But no. I fought it and went. Nothing like a good service in the morning and I am glad that I fought that crazy battle early in the morning. Thank you Heavenly Father for having my back!  :)

But yes, as much as I am really wanting to write everything about my day, I think I might have to call it a night... (and it's only 10:30pm!) I really do hope I'm not sick with something. Yikes.

STAY TUNED.

Contentment

Week 2 of Melissa Taylor's online-bible study of An Untroubled Heart


Chapter 4 : The Pressure's On
(an excerpt from Micca Campbell's An Untroubled Heart)


Finding Balance in Contentment
...Balance comes when I lay my to-do list before God and allow Him to prioritize my life. My life does not belong to me as a Christian. I shouldn't be the one ordering my days. When I do, my life becomes unstable. When this happens I've learned to do a quick review of my life by using this acrostic on priorities given to me by a friend:
P - Pray. Ask God for wisdom. Ask Him to show you his priorities for this season of your life.
R - Review God's priorities for your life. Study God's word to determine His priorities for you as His child and as a woman.
I - Take Inventory. Examine the activities that consume your time. (what are my true priorities? Are they the right ones?)
O - Order your schedule. Ask, "what is important?" Make the hard choices based on God's priorities for your life.
R - Resist the "tyranny of the urgent". Don't let the urgent keep you from focusing on the truly important.
I - Input from others. Seek input, counsel, and accountability from authorities, your husband, godly friends, and mentors.
T - Take advantage of the time God gives you. Don't waste time. Do all to the glory of God.
I - Identify time robbers. What saps your energy and robs your time? Activities, attitudes, distractions, interruptions?
E - Experience this season fully. Be all there in this season of life. Weep, rejoice, work hard, and celebrate with all your hear. Don't waste time living in the past or future.
S - Sabbaths. Take regular time-outs to refresh, regain perspective, reflect and evaluate, and reprioritize. Make adjustments accordingly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I read through this chapter again, I regain perspective on what God wants me to be. God wants me to accomplish things according to His will. God wants me to accomplish it and not lose my eye on Him. God wants me to take advantage of the time He has given me. God doesn't want me to procrastinate and waste my time being..."useless". God wants me to PRIORITIZE.

It hits me every time. I know I've been always organized with my life and all, but ever since things happened with my life in the past 2 years, I've been...well...disorganized. Life is cruel at times, but we can always count on God. God is awesome. :)

Lord God,
Thank you for opening my heart and mind again to your word. Thank you for giving me resources to constantly remind me from time to time that YOU will never leave my side. Thank you for reminding me to prioritize and be content with life. Teach me to balance life. Teach me to lay my to-do list before You. Thank you for another promise that you have unfolded. Amen.

STAY TUNED.

Let Go and Let God.

So 2 weeks ago, I have joined Melissa Taylor's online bible study for Micca Campbell's book An Untroubled Heart and I must say I am very happy. I have been reading An Untroubled Heart and I've been longing to do a study with some close friends, but unfortunately, everyone's "too busy". But I am not here to rant again about that. I am here to share my thoughts and what-not's as I go through this study.

Tulips blooming in the spring symbolizes HOPE
and by that I find it very beautiful.

Chapter 3: Fashioned for Faith -- Not Fear
(an excerpt from An Untroubled Heart by Micca Campbell)
Live Like You Believe.
Hope provides me with this confidence: that God will forgive all my sins. He will renew me. He will give me peace in times of turmoil. He will heal my sickness and comfort my sorrows. He will fight for me. He will guide me. He will protect me. He will strengthen me and He will care for me until all my fears are swallowed up by an undying faith in a God who is more than able to supply all my needs. Faith believes that God is real, and Hope is the confidence that He'll do what He said He will do. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have highlighted that part of the chapter, three months ago, and as I was reading that again, it struck me....AGAIN. Every time I get discouraged I tell myself that it will be ok in the end, but that bit of HOPE gets me going til the end. Life is hard...as cliche as it may sound...it really is. As I am slowly going back to where I was with my walk with Christ, I face countless struggles more often. It's almost like the devil is bombarding me with every single attack that he can do to me to stray me away from God. I admit, there are days when I'm just so...blah (emotionless I must say). There are days when I feel angry the moment I wake up and I would feel nothing but hate. The devil works in crazy ways, but I know that my God is greater and that he works in mysterious ways. Since I started working my way back to God, I feel the enemy's presence constantly pulling me away, but in that same moment, I can feel God's stronger presence pulling me towards Him. Amazing isn't He? And as much as I give in to fear at times, I am learning to give in fully to FAITH.

Point is: LET GO and LET GOD.

STAY TUNED.

comfort.

Sunshine amazes me every single day. I long for that rising sun to come and greet me a lovely morning. When times are discouraging, I long for the warmth of the sun to comfort me and tell me that every day is a new day and that yesterday is a thing of the past.

Magic Kingdom, Disney World, Orlando FL 2010
it calms me down every time i see this picture

I've been waking up later that usual these past few days and I honestly have been feeling under the weather (both physically...and emotionally), but I guess I should go back to my daily routine (and that includes waking up early!). I have been missing sunrises and it saddens me. Gah. I need to change this crazy routine. 

And by that, I will leave you an excerpt of my morning devotion:

"It's time to get out of bed and face the new day and the changes coming. It's time to remember that even in loneliness, I am never alone. It's time to relish the beautiful rose and those thorn bushes." - LeAnn Rice

My heart and my flesh may fail,

 but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26 

Rant.

I know I'm not the perfect friend to my friends, but I reach out (or I think so anyways) to them when they need me. But when I need them, I feel like they're always "too busy" for me. Now I face this weird, awkward phase in our friendship where I am barely invited to any events. Like, when I see them, they would talk about the happenings on the so-called events and I feel singled out. I may be a bit bitter, but in the end I try not to let it get to me. I ask myself what have I done wrong and I can't point out a single (possible) reason.

 Maybe some bitterness bothers me, but it's the "what, how and why's" that I'm bothered. I am just ranting, but it hurts. I try to just let this pass and move on. I feel that every phase in my life I encounter such heart-breaking moments when it comes to my friends. I have had friends who back-stabbed, lied, and hated me. I have had friends who I lost because of our difference in views. And as I write this, I ask myself why God has allowed such things to happen to me? Maybe it's his way of telling me to grow up and face such relationships with grace and mercy. I love my friends. I really do, and if anything, I really don't want to go through life alone. I have started with TONS of friends, but indeed it's true...only a few will remain.

There is always a TIME for EVERYTHING.

Thank you Lord God for constantly reminding me that I am not Superwoman and that I cannot do everything all at once. Thank you for constantly reminding me that there will always be time to do everything. Thank you for constantly reminding me that I need a time to stop, relax, and reflect on your word. Thank you for your unfailing love.

Rollercoaster called Life.

Pardon my 2-week absence from this blog. As plain as my life is right now, it's definitely eventful. Eventful in the sense that unexpected turn of events have happened, both good and bad. Nonetheless, I am not complaining.

People may think that I'm a lazy bum not doing anything meaningful, but I am sad to say that they are wrong. Yes, I would perceive as "lazy" to their eyes and ears, but I can honestly say that they have not gone through what I have been through in the past three weeks. I honestly think that I would be offended and mad, but I choose not to. I choose to be better and take that in and go from there.

What am I saying? Well, let's just say that my life has been definitely a roller coaster. If you were in my shoes, you'd probably be in a corner crying with a tub of ice cream and chips. Heh. Kidding aside, life has been good and bad. I had a choice to give up, but I chose not to.

I know this is another step to getting myself back together and all these circumstances were allowed by God to happen to my life. He allowed last-minute, life-changing circumstances so that I would grow more and that my character is constantly molded. (you think i'm not making sense?) Well, let's just say that God works in mysterious ways.


STAY TUNED.